


A Match Made in Hell

by Feminist_Fangirl



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Luna Lovegood & Draco Malfoy Friendship, Marriage Law Challenge, Minor Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, POV Hermione Granger, Post-Second War with Voldemort, ron weasley - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 21:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21083300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feminist_Fangirl/pseuds/Feminist_Fangirl
Summary: It's Dramione - Just read it already ! The Golden Trio were back for their final year in Hogwarts. And guess what ? The Ministry of Magic has decided to pair everyone up and marry them off to one another. Nothing problematic in that, right ? Also, did I mention Hermione is paired up with Draco Malfoy ? Yeah, real fun. Now for the big question - Will they fuck or will Hermione throw herself off a cliff ?





	1. How to Ruin the First Day of Hogwarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dramione - Just read it already ! The Golden Trio were back for their final year in Hogwarts. And guess what ? The Ministry of Magic has decided to pair everyone up and marry them off to one another. Nothing problematic in that, right ? Also, did I mention Hermione is paired up with Draco Malfoy ? Yeah, real fun. Now for the big question - Will they fuck or will Hermione throw herself off a cliff ?

Maybe once, a long time ago, the Ministry's action made sense. Maybe the Ministry had logical rules and regulations. Heck, Maybe there even was once a time the Ministry actually made sure the students at Hogwarts actually studied.

Now, a year after the Battle of Hogwarts, I can assure you the Ministry has gone completely crazy.

Why would I say so you ask ?

Here, see for yourself.

\---

Kingsley Shacklebolt stood next to Minerva McGonagall on the first day of Hogwart's reopening. He looked anxious as if he was announcing the return of Voldemort... again.

Now that I think about it, the return of Voldemort sounds like Heaven compared to this bullshit.

"Hello, Students of Hogwarts. I hope you all enjoyed your summer vacations. This year, we have a little... announcement for the 7th Year or 8th Year students." He took a deep breath and continued as the students looked at each other in excitement. 

"The Second Wizarding War had taken away many loved ones from us. People like Albus Dumbledore and Severus Snape will be forever remembered for their great deeds. But on a much more serious note, the population has decreased by more than 30%. And strict measures need to be applied." He looked around nervously.

"We have introduced a new law. It may sound questionable at first but it is necessary. You are required to pair up and marry by the end of the year. " A group of gasps erupted from the hall. 

"You will be divided into pairs today by the sorting hat and by the end of the year, we expect all the pairs to have an heir. You will also be given dorm rooms separate from your juniors."

Now I don't know how the blasted education system works but telling a bunch of 17-year-olds that they need to fuck a stranger by the end of the year may not be the best way to start school. Just saying.

"What the hell ?!" 

"Are you kidding me ?!"

"Is this a joke ?!"

All kinds of shouts erupted from the crowd. Students were yelling and teachers were desperate to calm them down.

Shacklebolt looked a lot more confident now as he took out the sorting hat, "Remember, the Sorting hat is always right."

\---

Sitting on the tiny-ass stool which the first years sit on, only one thing raced through my mind. The Sorting hat was wrong. 

It had to be ! The name it called out once it touched my head was definitely not my soulmate's. Screw that, it wasn't even my friend's.

The two infamous words still echoed through my mind - Draco Malfoy

Draco Fucking Malfoy. 

Guess who's gonna have poison for dessert today ? 

"WHAT ?!" Malfoy yelled, jumping to his feet. "Granger- What ?! No ! I- She-"

I sat there stammering, "But- But- But-"

"The decisions are final," Shacklebolt said but his eyes gave me a flash of pity, "It'll be alright." He mouthed to me.

Fuck you, Shacklebolt.

"I can't be paired with her ! I have a legacy !" Malfoy screamed.

"Well, I have standards !" I snapped back.

"WE HATE EACH OTHER ! WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD IDEA ?!"

"Take a seat, Mr Malfoy and Ms Granger. All the information will be held out in a minute after we're done with everybody."

This whole thing is just a dream right ? Yes, it has to be. Now let me just punch myself in the face and I'll wake up. Simple right ?

Wrong. Turns out it isn't a dream. Turns out I'm actually getting married to Draco Malfoy aka the guy I'd reject for a stinky unwashed sock from under Ron's mattress. Now sounds like a good time to kill myself.

Soon, most of the pairing was done. Harry got Ginny and Ron got Pansy. Believe me, I'd rather marry Ron instead of Malfoy. Heck, I'd even marry Pansy over Malfoy ! And that's saying something cause I'm straight.

So now you know the effect he has on women. At least women with self-respect.

"Get going to your rooms. Also to guide you along the way to marriage and healthy relationships you will have Ms Humming conduct a class every other day." Shacklebolt said before he apparated away. As soon as everybody heard the familiar noise of apparition, the whole hall burst into madness.


	2. First Day in Hell

Ginny had her arm around me, "It's okay, Mione. I'm sure you'll end up liking each other."

We were sitting in the great hall, trying to console ourselves. The boys had been called by Professor McGonagall for getting the dorm keys and other things.

"Liking Malfoy ?! Are you kidding me ?" I wailed.

"I'm pretty sure you'll get along fine. It's not that big of a deal." 

"Yeah, I'm just forced to get married to Draco Malfoy. No biggie right ? Happens every other Wednesday."

"You don't really have any other choice. Might as well make the most out of it." She shrugged.

"Easy for you to say, you got Harry !" 

I didn't mean to sound this bratty. But could you blame me ? I was forced to tie myself down to a man I hate for the rest of my life at such a young age. This was wrong on so many levels. Could this marriage ever work out ?

\---

I scowled at Malfoy as he glared back. We had been standing like that in front of our door for the past ten minutes.

"Get out of my way." He hissed.

"Get out of my life." 

"I have the keys, get out of my way." He repeated.

I gestured to his hand, which had grabbed my wrist firmly a few seconds ago when I tried to scratch him because he called me a mudblood (I know I shouldn't have but the Crookshanks in me demanded to ruin his pretty-boy face).

Malfoy let my hand go and I reluctantly stood away from the entrance, as he walked in and I followed close behind him. The suite we were given was pretty big; it had a kitchenette, a bathroom, a living room and a bedroom. Yes, you heard me correctly, one bedroom. Its one of those stories.

"Only one damn bed ?!" He said.

I looked at him, "Have fun sleeping on the floor."

"Haha, no. I'm not sleeping on the floor. You're sleeping on the floor."

"No way !"

"I want the bed !" He said, slumping on to the bed, "And I get what I want." 

"Then you shut your mouth and cooperate."

"I'm a Malfoy and I don't sleep with mudbloods !" 

"I'm a Granger and I don't sleep with whiny bitches." I mocked.

That's when suddenly McGonagall apparated into the room. Malfoy and I looked at her in shock, "I- I thought you couldn't apparate inside Hogwarts !" He said.

I looked at him in pleasant surprise, "You read-"

"Of course, I did. I'm not a loser."

"Mr Malfoy, Ms Granger." She greeted, flashing us a smile, "You're getting along so well." 

Malfoy raised his brows and gestured to the fingernail marks on his hand, "Yeah, she just tried to claw my flesh out for fun."

"You haven't killed each other yet and it has been a whole twenty minutes. You guys are getting along great !" She continued, ignoring Malfoy, "I know this must be hard to take in- "

"Hard to take in ? Oh no, not at all ! It's not like I'm getting married to a buck-toothed ugly know-it-all mudblood."

McGonagall glared at Malfoy, "Just like she's not getting married to a demanding spoiled entitled brat."

Malfoy looked away as I smugly grinned at him, "What's the matter, Professor ?"

"I just came to inform that you have your first class for this today in ten minutes, so you better hurry up. Oh and, remember this class is 30% of your final grade."

\---

"Welcome students, I'm Professor Humming, your teacher for this class." She chirped.

She had short wavy blonde hair and a big smile plastered onto her rosy face. She wore a bright blouse and casual muggle dungarees. She kinda looked like the mom who likes baking while dancing around the kitchen to kids bops.

We greeted her back as she smiled at us brightly and spoke, "I know this whole must be such a wild card but believe me, this is a great way to discover so many intense emotions and amazing relationships you never thought would occur before  
We greeted her back as she smiled at us brightly and spoke, "I know this whole must be such a wild card but believe me, this is a great way to discover so many intense emotions and amazing relationships you never thought would occur before."

You know what ? She was right. I am feeling deep and intense emotions for Malfoy. Of Annoyance. 

"But I'm sure most of you haven't talked much before so for our first task. We have some simple 'get to know and understand each other' activities."

Seriously ? THIS class is 30% of our grade ?!

"We call our first exercise the trust fall. It helps you to establish trust between peers. It's simple, one person deliberately falls backwards and trusts the other person to catch him or her."

"Ugh, dammit. Do I have to do this with her ? Can I pay my way out of this ?" Malfoy asked, raising his eyebrows.

Professor Woodwind smiled sweetly, "Of course you can. Just for 1 galleon, we can kick you out of the school forever and you wouldn't need to attend any classes."

Malfoy's face reddened but he still kept his smug expression glued to his face.

Prat.

"Pansy ? Will you get in front of Ron and close your eyes ?" Professor said. Pansy was sceptical but she did so anyway.

"Now all you have to do is fall and trust him to catch you."

"You mean I have to volunteer to trust this idiot to catch me ?!"

"Exactly."

Pansy grumbled and fell backwards, Ron somehow managed to catch her. But he sent an inkpot, few sheets of paper and Professor's coffee flying before it all smashed onto the floor.

"Try to be um... more careful next time, eh ? Anyways, ladies step up and let your partners catch you. I'll go get another coffee."

I turned to Malfoy. He sighed and walked up to me muttering, "I can't believe I've to touch you. This degrades purebloods all around."

"Do you remember the time my fist and your face had a little date ? Want them to have a second one ?"

"I wasn't expecting it then ! I would've crushed you if I had known, you pathetic blob of fat."

"It's enough I have to bear looking at your face. Don't make your words annoying too."

"Shut it, Granger. Now come here and fall."

I didn't trust Malfoy. I knew he'd let me fall. He'd love to see me get embarrassed in front of the whole class. Yet I stepped in front of him and squeezed my eyelids shut.

"Don't you DARE drop me."

He rolled his eyes, "I'll catch you, Granger. I promise."

I could feel my feet slip away as I pushed myself backwards. For a second, I thought he was actually gonna let me fall but in the last minute, a pair of strong arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me back up.

Our faces were inches apart and I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks because of the way his eyes were fixed on mine. 

"Uh- Um..." I stammered, getting my hands off his chest as he, looking quite pleased with himself, took his hands off my waist and shoved them in his pocket and smirked, "We're done."

I took a step backwards, "Yeah, um... Right."

I tried to forget about the moment they just had but it kept spiralling throughout my head. What had just happened ?!

By that time, Woodwind already came back with a brand-new cup of coffee, "Okay, to end today's lesson we have one last quick activity. It's easy, you have to give one good quality and one bad quality about your partner. It can't be about looks or appearance or any physical attribute."

Malfoy sneered, "Finding a bad quality in you won't be too hard, Granger."

"Well then, I'll start. The bad quality in you is that you judge a person too quickly for dumb reasons and you're prejudiced. The good quality in you is that you are confident and determined to believe in yourself. " Hermione added to herself, "Even when you have no reason to be."

"Haha, Granger."

"Your turn."

"Okay, your good quality is that you're not afraid to speak your mind for what you believe in, that's kinda cool, and your bad quality is um... you're a... um..."

"Get on with it."

Malfoy met my eyes, his cheeks slightly pink as he struggled to find something to criticise me for.

"Well then, Malfoy ? Go on," I smirked, crossing my arms as I realised he couldn't really find anything terrible in me.

"I don't know, you don't even need a reason to suck ! You just do !"

"Ugh, I hate you !"

"Feeling is mutual."

Soon, Woodwind dismissed the class and all the students scurried out. I glanced at Malfoy on the way out, wondering if I could even survive this class with him to bless me with his holy presence. (Hint : I will 😉)


	3. The Nexilis Charm

'Nexilis' is the incantation that binds two objects together by a strong bond of magic. Unlike most sticking spells, there is no known reverse spell for Nexilis. This spell's origins have been traced back to Priscilla Stonewall, the renowned 16th-century sorceress, famous for her bestselling spellbook - Book of Delusions. This spell is cast when you twirl your wand slightly while reciting the spell. 

"Who can try and cast the spell - Nexilis ?"

My hand shot up in the air, along with a few more. 

Flitwick looked around the classroom for a moment, "Ms Lovegood, would you like to enlighten us ?"

"Oh yeah, sure." She twirled her wand ever so slightly and whispered, "Nexilis !"

Now if everything went according to plan, there would be a small puff of black smoke and the two rocks in front of her would stick together. But does anything ever go according to plan in Hogwarts ?

No.

It's like the founders programmed Hogwarts to screw everything up. Whenever anything was not being a major disaster it somehow managed to undermine my efforts and become a major disaster.

Just when she uttered the words, Ron decided it would be a good time to take out his stash of Pumpkin Pasties. He managed to tip over one of his rocks as it flew up in the air and landed...

On Luna Lovegood's face. 

She yelled as she swung her hand rapidly in the air and suddenly the room was covered in black smoke.

"Ahh ! What the hell ?! Wha-" I screamed as I felt a sizzle down my arm.

Soon the smoke cleared out, leaving a trail of glitter on the floor. Everybody was coughing and fanning away the remaining smoke.

"Woah ! What the fuck ?!" Malfoy suddenly yelled, jerking his hand into the air as... MY HAND FLEW UP INTO THE AIR ?!

NO ! NO ! UGHH ! MY HAND WAS STUCK TO MALFOY'S ! WHY MUST GOD BE SO CRUEL TO ME ?! WHAT DID I EVER DO TO DESERVE THIS ?! I HAD ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD GIRL ! (Except the time I set Snape on fire but let me tell you that was totally worth it.)

"Professor ! My hand ! It's stuck to hers !" Malfoy shrieked, kinda like the dead cat who's giving birth to a chainsaw I saw in a movie once but that isn't relevant to this.

"Oh dear ! You need to go to the hospital wing !" Flitwick exclaimed.

"Change it back ! Change it back !" 

"It's an irreversible curse, nitwit !" I snapped.

"It's not even meant to be used on humans ! What if it turns me into a potato !" He wailed, flinging his hand as mine flailed around with his, "Or even worse a mudblood !"

So apparently being a mudblood is worse than being a potato. It's not like a potato gets eaten or anything, right ?

"Calm down, Malfoy ! You're making things worse !"

"Both of you, come with me to St Mungo's !" 

\---

We both sat on the big poofy couch next to the door which Professor Flitwick had disappeared behind. 

Malfoy stole occasional glances at me, sipping the pumpkin juice we got at the front desk with his other hand and just look, I don't want to make a big deal out of this but we were holding hands. Nothing much okay ?

Our hands were literally already attached. My hand was hurting from all the flinging he did, so he offered to hold it.

How is he gonna wash my mudblood germs off himself I don't know, but for the moment since he could find the manners to shut his mouth up and not blabber about his unexplainably good looks and incredible wealth, it was kinda cool that a somewhat attractive and not a vomit-inducing guy was holding my hand.

But just as always, a cute moment only lasts for five seconds in my life before turning into a nightmare worse than Voldemort and Kim Kardashian's love child.

I don't even know how it happened, one minute we were holding hands and sitting in comfortable silence and the second we were at each other's throats.

"It was all Weasley's fault ! He needs to learn to stuff shoving food up his ass !" Malfoy spat.

"He didn't mean to do anything ! It was an accident, Jesus !"

"Accident my ass !" 

I rolled my eyes, "Oh god, I can't believe I've got to deal with your bullshit for the rest of my life."

"Don't talk about that ! Maybe if we ignore it long enough it'll go away."

"Marrying you will be equivalent to getting married to an empty bottle of nail polish !"

"Well, at least I don't get my clothes free with a Happy Meal like you !"

"You ferret-faced bitch !" I raised my hand to push him off the couch but I guess I forgot my hand was fucking stuck to his and I managed to smack my own face and make both of us fall. And me being the lucky loser I am, landed below him.

"Ouch, goddamit Granger ! Are you always such a mess ?" He grumbled.

"Shut up !" I blushed, embarrassed, as he smirked flirtily, "Make me."

That is the exact moment Professor Flitwick decided to come out. When we were both on the floor, Malfoy was above me smirking at me, and I was blushing like an idiot.

Heaven knows what he thought we were doing.

"Oh- Um... I didn't know you were that comfortable being stuck to each other." He said.

"No it's-"

"Guess you'll have to be stuck like that for a long time. This spell doesn't have an antidote yet and it's not even meant to be used on humans. They said that it looked like maybe a potion could fix it but they don't know any."

"Does that mean ?"

"Yes, you'll be stuck like this for quite a long time..."


	4. Truth or Dare - The Devil's Incarnate

The students of Hogwarts had seen many strange sights before, from Harry Potter being a parselmouth to Hagrid getting arrested; the list was endless. But what they saw today must've been the strangest thing they'd ever seen.

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy walked into the Great Hall hand in hand.

"You have to sit with us." I gestured to the Gryffindor table.

"No damn way I'm sitting with those arrogant bratty lion-fuckers, you have to sit with us !" 

"Hey ! That's my house you're talking about !" I glared at him, dragging him onto our table. He resisted, that I'm sure of, but I was way stronger than Malfoy.

"Hi, Mione. Malfoy." Ginny greeted.

Harry took his legs off Ginny's lap, "How's your hand ? Are you guys free ?"

"No, this hex is irreversible. St Mungo's is working on a potion but I don't know..." Malfoy said as he took a bite out of the roast chicken, "Ew, Gryffindor food is so oily !"

"Don't you DARE insult this amazing piece of heaven !" Ron scowled.

"Slytherin food is way better."

"Ugh no ! Gryffindor food for life, bro !"

I rolled my eyes, neither of them realised that all the food is made together by the same house-elves. But explaining that to them is like explaining trigonometry to a shoelace.

"Oh you guys, shut it !" Ginny snapped, "Mione, I was thinking school just started and this will be our last year in Hogwarts, so why don't we have a sleepover tonight ?"

"That's such a cute idea ! Let's do it !" I exclaimed, imagining a soothing manicure and lots and lots of chocolates.

"As long as there is food." Harry shrugged.

"I ain't going to that shit !" Malfoy scowled in disgust.

"You don't have to, gosh !"

He gestured to our hands, "Then how in the world of Merlin will you go ?!"

"Oh !" I said as realisation dawned upon me, "Please Malfoy, just this once ! I'll go with you where ever you want then !"

He looked at me in disinterest, "Okay whatever yeah, just stop making that face."

Yes ! 

\---

We were sitting in a circle, surrounded by snacks and pillows, playing the infamous game - Truth or Dare.

Hated by men and adored by women, this game has been ruining lives and friendships since the start of time (1712 to be precise. It's that old).

We had a bowl or truths and a bowl of dares placed in front of us. 

"My turn now I guess ?" Malfoy said, picking a chit from the green bowl of truths. "Rate every girl out of ten for looks in this room."

Luna giggled, "He's gonna give everybody a zero."

"Luna, um... I don't know... Seven ? Seven and a half ?"

Okay this is a fucking nightmare !

"A seven ? I'm offended, love."

"Ginny... uh, I hate this... um, an eight ?"

"Hey, lower it down, idiot !" Harry laughed as Ginny smacked his knee.

"What about Mione ?" She giggled, as he groaned, "Why did I agree to come here ?!"

"Say it !"

"Oh god... An eight too I guess ? Man, I'm leaving this hellhole !"

"An eight ? What happened to ugly buck-toothed beaver ?!"

"Just shut it, Granger."

"Your turn, Ron." Harry said, "Truth or Dare ?"

"Um... Dare !" He said, picking a chit from the red bowl. His eyes widened as he read it.

"What is it ?" I asked.

"Kiss the person on your right." He said as all eyes turned towards me. I was the person on his right.

"Oh my god !" Ginny laughed evilly.

"It's just a dare, nothing to worry about, Mione." Luna grinned at my horrified face.

Malfoy smirked, leaning back. "This I wanna see."

"Are you serious ? Dude, you're supposed to be my fiance ! Please get me out of this !"

"No way. You gotta do it !"

Ron leaned over, "Sorry." He whispered before pressing his lips against mine.

To be honest, I didn't vomit or faint, so I guess it was an okay kiss. Also, when I automatically didn't pull back in disgust after the kiss, Malfoy was frowning. Anything to make him jealous.


	5. Food - The Solution to Everything

I fluttered my eyes open and only one thought raced through my brain.

What the fuck do birds wake up at 6 am for ?

I suddenly felt the presence of a muscular arm around my waist. Okay what the heck ? Where am I ? Am I dreaming ? Shit, did last night involve something starting with 'w' and ending with 'eed'?

All of my questions were answered when Malfoy groaned into his pillow sleepily, removing his arm from my waist. 

I was in our new suite, I wasn't dreaming, and last night definitely involved weed because there is no other way I'd stay in the same bed as him.

I tried to get off when I realised my hand was STILL stuck to his. 

Now what do I do ?

"Malfoy ?" I whispered, shaking him slightly with my other hand.

"Mhmm..."

"Malfoy, wake up..."

"Ughhh," He mumbled, "Oh it's you- Wait, what ?! Why- Oh god are we still-" 

"We're still stuck..."

\---

I thought the worst part of being stuck to Malfoy would be tolerating his bullshit but now I had bigger problems on my mind.

HOW THE FUCKING FUCK AM I GONNA FUCKING SHOWER ?!

"I don't know, it's not like I wanna see your mudblood body."

"Malfoy ! Watch that mouth !"

"Whatever." He scoffed, "I'm not even gonna shower."

He took at out a can of deodorant and sprayed, what seemed like the whole bottle, on himself.

"Oh god, you smell like toxic masculinity and frat boys, ew."

\--- 

"For today's marriage class, we will be covering a very important topic - Cooking. We'll be cooking something basic today, roast chicken with sauteed vegetables and gravy. Easy and simple." Professor Humming said, gesturing towards the already-made food on her table.

Oh hell nah woman, that shit ain't easy !

"So as you can see you already have all the materials, dishes and instructions in front of you. Follow the recipe and you'll be fine. Go get started !"

Draco and I trudged to our counter as I asked Malfoy, "You know how to cook ?"

"I've made a sandwich once." He shrugged and then popped a baby carrot in his mouth.

"Let's prepare for an F, shall we ?"

"We don't even deserve an F." He said, adding a random amount of oil into the gravy.

"It's turning orange ??"

"Add something fast !" He urged, dumping in a teaspoon full of salt.

"We got some rosemary here." I sprinkled some on top.

"Okay good, that were all the ingredients right ?"

"We are supposed to marinate this stuff ?" I asked, holding up the piece of paper we were given. 

"What the hell is a marinate ?"

"Gosh, what are you doing ?"

"Eating some candy I sneaked in." He popped a Bertie Bott's Bean in his mouth and smirked at me, "Want one ?"

"Ugh, seriously. Put it away !"

"No way I-" His hand clashed with the pot and send most of the gravy and jelly beans flying on us.

Great fucking job.

All our hard work (Okay yeah not so much but still !) just went to waste. Professor Humming ran to our table, "You guys okay ?"

"You idiot !" I yelled, pushing him backwards.

"It wasn't my fault, you bitch !"

That's when I realised something. Our hands. We were free ?! Oh my goodness, WHAT ?

"M- Malfoy, we're not stuck anymore !"

"Wha- Finally ! Freedom from this mudb-" Before he could finish I smacked his face. Feels good I can do this again.

So basically, we created a cure for the Nexilis hex out of some poorly-made gravy and Bertie Bott's beans.

May we prosper in life.


	6. The Perfect Dtae

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if y'all will like it but I am shifting POVs for this chapter. The first part is Draco's, the second part is Mione's. I'll be back to just Mione from the next chapter onwards.
> 
> Also, this contains an attempt to harass, it's nothing detailed or explicit (Draco is not the one to do it either).

\- Draco's POV - 

"Go on a date."

What ?

"For your next assignment, all you have to do is go on a date. You'll get an A+ if you do. Pictures for proof." 

Okay are you serious ? A date ? With Granger ?! 

\---

"Get the hell out of there ! It's been an eternity !"

"Yeah Yeah, coming !"

The door creaked open and Lovegood and Granger walked out, complaining about the fact that they were getting an A+ just to hang out with the hottest, richest, sexiest- Did I mention richest ?

I looked Granger up and down.

"Remind me to go shopping for you tomorrow. My mom wears sexier clothes than you. Heck, Dumbledore wears sexier clothes than you !"

Granger rolled her eyes, fixing her white knee-length skirt which she idiotically decided to pair with a bright yellow tube top.

She looked like an egg that had been cracked too hard thus was all over the floor now.

I feel bad for the guy who was forced to marry Granger- Oh yeah, thats right. 

It's me. How annoyingly tragic.

"Don't shame for her for wearing what she feels pretty in. She isn't dressing for you. She doesn't want to impress you of all people with something as shallow as the price tag of her clothes or amount of skin she is showing. She is beautiful no matter what dress she is wearing."

"Easy for you to say, you're pretty." Blaise shrugged.

"Well, if Hermione said the same thing you would say she is only saying that cause she is ugly. Men are going to bitch no matter what, we might as well enjoy life."

Granger smirked, "It's okay Luna, let them feel good about themselves by thinking that they brought a woman down to feed their fragile egos." She turned to me, her voice dripping with fake sweetness, "Let's go then, darling."

\---

"They're muggles, Malfoy."

"Huh ?"

"I know what you're thinking. Just remember they're muggles." She shrugged.

I almost spat out my drink, "Granger !"

"What ?" She looked at me innocently, "Are you telling me you weren't mentally undressing that ginger woman over there ?"

I widened my eyes accusingly at her, "Excuse me, what ? Why would I do that when I have my own fugly hoe to look at ?"

"Oh god, you're actually disgusting, you know that ?"

"Joke's on you because I know," I shrugged, "Also that skirt makes you look fat."

"How will I ever live with you ?" She sighed, getting up. Just then, at the thrill of the moment, she crashed into a waitress, spilling a Mojito all over her.

"I am so sorry. Oh lord, I ruined your top." The waitress said, rushing to get a tissue.

"Ah- I- Shit, my top-"

"Wanna take a selfie ?" I grinned, taking out my phone and snapping a pic of her covered in Mojito as I flashed a peace sign.

"Oh okay now that the picture's done, you can leave now because I think that chick just winked at me."

"You- You absolute douchebag- I swear to god- I- I cannot handle you right now, you fucking monster !" She screamed as all eyes turned towards us, "I hate you ! I hate you so much, you trashy self-obsessed disgusting piece of death eater scum !"

She slapped a 10-pound note on the table. "I'm leaving ! Have fun fucking that ginger, you ass !"

I sat there helplessly, unable to process what just happened, as I watched Granger storm out. 

I didn't mean for her to get angry, I was just joking. I didn't actually want her to leave.

S- Should I follow her ? 

No, I messed up. She probably wants to be left alone.

The ginger girl from earlier flashed me a pearly smile as soon as Granger left and came over to me.

"Is this seat taken ?" 

I looked up, unsure of what to say as I thought about what Granger said - Death Eater Scum.

I plastered a fake smile, "No sure, you can sit here."

-x-x-x-

-Hermione's POV-

The sound of the noisy bar fell faint as I stepped out in the dimly lit street through the back door. My legs felt wobbly as my heels clicked on the ground as I dabbed my top with a tissue.

"Heyy babe, you alone ?" A young biker whistled, as all his pals broke into laughs.

I clenched my fists, trying to ignore him as I increased my speed. 

It's okay, Mione. They can't hurt you, you have a wand. If they even try to touch you, you can light their balls on fire. You'll be safe. 

"Oh no, looks like your top is ruined, want me to get it off ?"

I turned back, almost snapping my neck, "Fuck off !"

He gritted his teeth, "What did you say, bitch ?"

"Go away !"

"Brett, go grab her !" He snapped, "We're gonna teach her a lesson tonight." 

A buff and tall dude cornered me and a few others joined him. I took a step backwards and gulped, shoving my hand into my purse in search of my wand.

"St- Stand back." My voice broke, as I tried to hold back tears.

"Be a good girl and I know you'll like it." He whispered. He tried to grab my wrist but before he could even lift his arm, a hand flew past me and punched him and he fell onto the floor lifeless as blood poured out his nose.

"Malfoy !" I yelled in surprise as he grabbed my hand and dragged me away from what was left of Brett.

The other bikers snarled, "Who the hell are you, blondie ?!"

"Stay the fuck away from her, you don't wanna mess with me !"

"Leave us alone and we won't kill you !"

"Sorry lads for what I'm about to do to you !" He smirked, taking his wand out and stupefying all the four men.

"W- What did you do ?! They were muggles !"

"We don't have time for questions !" He wrapped one hand around my waist and pulled me close to him before the familiar sound of apparition ringed through my ears.


	7. Midnight with Malfoy

I stared at the blank ceiling above me, stealing some glances at Malfoy from time to time as we both lay in our bed in the dark.

I couldn't sleep, every time I felt drowsy, memories of today's disastrous date kept flooding back in. So, I looked at Malfoy instead. His eyes were closed and his hair was messy in a... cute way. He turned over, facing me as my cheeks flushed pink.

You know, when his mouth is shut he isn't that bad to look at, especially when he keeps on biting his lips like that.

Damn, he looked downright hot when bullshit was not pouring out from his mouth.

No. No. No.

No. No. No.

No. No. No.

No, I did not just think that ew.

Malfoy is NOT hot ! What the fuck is wrong with me ? I think his shit is finally affecting my brain cells.

I turned away from Malfoy, I was not going to think about him anymore. No way I was. Time to sleep, sleep solves everything.

I closed my eyes shut, imagining all the types of dishes one could make out of carrots and grapes and yeah... just generally trying not to disappoint people and soon I drifted off to sleep.

\---

"Granger ?!"

I wake up with a gasp in the middle of the night as I sat upright on the bed. Malfoy was leaning towards me with a slightly concerned look on his face, "Granger, what the hell happened ? You were screaming !"

I shook my head, "I..."

"Were you dreaming about having sex with a horse or something ?"

"No- I- I had a nightmare about..."

"The war." He finished, sighing like he knew what I was going through. Malfoy looked at me, somewhat guilty, "I... I am sorry... I made a wrong choice back then..."

"Oh, there was nothing you could do about it," I said, smiling sympathetically, "You were just another stupid teen boy who just happened to go join the dark side which planned on erasing an entire half of the humanity and destroying every single muggle with a mortal soul. Did I also mention you got hugged by a 70-year-old man who looks like a pale green motherfucking egg ?"

"I'll just pretend you didn't say that." He chuckled, lying down on his back again as he closed his eyes, "Better go to sleep, Granger."

I nodded, relaxing my muscles as I took a deep breath. I felt calm again.

He held my hand for a second, giving it a tight squeeze then he suddenly pulled it back. I guess he realised he was being actually nice and duh we can't have him do that right ?

He blushed, "I- I didn't mean to- I'm sorry."

I rolled my eyes, "You don't want my mudblood germs on you ?"

He stuck his tongue out, trying to prove what non-existent point I don't know. He decided to hold my hand just to remind me he isn't a bitch (Which he totally is, duh).

I shut my eyes and let out a breath as I let myself fall asleep.

\---


	8. I Fucking Hate Granger

-Draco's POV-

I woke up with what I thought was a bird's nest all over my face, though it just turned out to be the monstrosity what Granger also calls as her hair.

I mean SERIOUSLY, what that girl needs is a new brand of shampoo !

I yawned sleepily and then realised we were all tangled up. Her hands were wrapped around me snugly and mine were placed firmly on her waist.

The sunlight fell softly on her face, making her red plush lips shine brightly like the morning sun at the break of dawn, like the colour of strawberries in a flowery meadow gently rolling down the hills, like she spent a whole two hours making out with a cheap bottle of bloodred ketchup.

Her face flushed red due to the chilly September morning and a strand of her coffee brown hair covered her closed eyes.

I smiled to myself, brushing the strand off her face as my fingers lingered over her for a while too long as I felt myself staring at her.

Maybe she didn't look that bad.

She fidgeted in her sleep as I let my hand trail down her soft cheeks. 

That is the exact moment her stupid ass decided to wake up.

"What the motherfucking world of Merlin are you doing ?!"

"Uh- I- I-"

"Are you seriously feeling me up while I'm asleep ? Do you have no respect for a woman's right to consent ?!"

"I was NOT feeling you up. Do you think I have ANY interest in that ?!"

"Then what the hell were you doing ?!"

"I... I was trying to get my hand off you !"

That's when she noticed her hands were snuggled around me and our faces were literally inches apart.

Her cheeks blushed pink as she got them off me, sitting upright.

"Did you really think I had an interest in you ? You are the last person I'd even think of noticing twice. Your hair always looks like a deranged cat threw up on it, your make-up looks like it was done by a three-year-old boy with no hands and your clothes look like you got them free with a happy meal you didn't pay for."

She groaned and jumped off the bed, "Go fuck yourself !"

"Do it yourself, coward !" I yelled out as she walked out of the room angrily.

She raised her hands, pointing her middle finger out without even flinching as she slammed the door behind her.

I screamed into my pillow. Why does she have to be so ughh ! Can't we just try not to kill each other for a while ?

I hate her ! I hate her ! I hate her ! I fucking hate her !

I screamed into my pillow a little more.

So this is what it feels like to be Potter and Weasley.

\---

"Students of Hogwarts, we have some exciting news for you." McGonagall said.

"Free cookies ?" A first-year Hufflepuff girl shouted out, making the rest of their table giggle.

We all had gathered in the Great Hall the first thing in the morning for McGonagall's announcement. Blaise and I had taken turns guessing what all this fuss was about but none of them seemed to be it.

"We, my children, are hosting a student exchange." She said as the crowd burst into conversation, "A few home-schooled witches and wizards from all over the world will be joining us for a while."

The door flew open and four seventeen-year-old students walked in.

The first one was placed in Ravenclaw. She was Asian and had clear porcelain skin. Her eyes were dark blue just like her electric blue hair. She was wearing hot and bold make-up and had her nose pierced. Unlike the other student exchanges who wore the Hogwarts uniform, she sported a tiny black dress exposing a lot of skin.

"I'm Hu Lanying but you can call me Roxy. I am from China, I drive a Chevrolet Corvette I had to leave back home and I like green apples." She said.

The second boy took a seat in the Hufflepuff table. He was wearing oversized round glasses and had a shy smile. His orangish-bandish hair looked like dog vomit and he carried a white kitten in his hand.

"I'm Nicholas White from England itself."

The third girl was a tall blonde girl with a willowy posture and a gracious smile on her lips. Her hips swayed as she walked forward making the boys whistle. Her sharp green eyes dazzled in the sunlight as she took a seat in the Slytherin table.

"My name is Circe Lisandra, I am from France and I'm loving it here in the United Kingdom." She said with a smile, she had a heavy French accent but who are we kidding, it was sexy as fuck.

The last boy sat down in the Gryffindor table. He was tall, buff and looked like a million dollars. His olive skin complemented his dark black eyes. His dark wind-swept hair and proud grin made the Gryffindor girls swoon. He had an honoured and respected look to him like he lived a prince's life. Believe me, I would know.

"I am Ajax." Was all he said before sitting down but that was enough to make the girls sigh in adoration.

He sat next to Granger giving her a brief smile. I saw her start up a conversation and soon they were laughing together. She gave him a playful nudge as he kissed her hand. I noticed that the gap between them kept on reducing.

What the fuck did he think he was doing ?

Granger smiled at him sweetly, her cheeks flushing red as she leaned closer, whispering something in his ear as they laughed again. 

Okay, no. This is not gonna happen. Who does he think he is ?!

"Hello ? Why are you staring at Granger ?" Pansy asked, waving a hand in front of me.

"How can he flirt with Granger like that ?!"

"What ?" Pansy's eyes widened.

"I meant, he looks like he is from a respectable and well-known family. How can he talk to a mudblood like that ?!" I burst out.

Pansy smirked playfully, "Oooh, I get it now."

"Shut up, Parkinson ! I fucking hate Granger !" I snapped, ditching my food and storming out of the Great Hall.


End file.
